Let’s do what is never done before. Let’s write about how to do parenting.
My kid is more than 15 months old. So, I think I have some experience as a father now. Here are some things I think help.
Listen to your kid and do what they want
Rather than telling them what they should do, you should listen to what they are telling you and follow that. Kids have a clear way of communicating even before they can speak. Just try to understand what they are trying to tell you and do that. Do they want water? Do they want to get down from the bed? Do they want to go outside? Do they want to sleep? The only way to understand them is to spend time with them and pick up cues they use to communicate. Don’t tell them what you want them to do or how things are done. Let them surprise you and they will deliver. Let them do things their own way.
Let them explore the world
Let them play with dirty water. Let them play with sand. Let them eat gravy with their toothbrush. Let them experience the tools, textures, flavors, smells, sights of the world and make their own worldview. Do not confine them to a room or a house. Take them out, let them play and play with them. Don’t use TV and phones as an escape from your responsibility, use them as tools. If you prefer staring at your phone all day than to play with your kid, don’t have a kid. That will be best for both you and the kid.
Become a lifeguard, not a micromanager
Your role is just to prevent them from getting into harm’s way. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. Whatever they need to thrive, they will learn on their own. You should learn from them rather than teaching them. Just answer all their questions correctly and they will be fine. Google the answer if you don’t know. Don’t do the “Kids are delivered by storks” bullshit when they ask “Where do babies come from?”
They are their *One and only chance*, not your *Second chance*
Don’t dump your failures, biases, insecurities and desires on them. Let them decide what do they want to do and support them. Impart whatever knowledge and wisdom you have gathered and then let them decide what do they want to do. The fundamental duty of a parent is to enable the child to reach their peak potential. That’s all. It’s not to make the kid the topper of the class, or to make him better than other kids in any other field. Don’t make them a race-horse. Help them discover their own path.
Give them a childhood full of love
Try to reciprocate the amount of love they have for you. Untainted by expectations or attachment. Pure love.
Don’t have a kid if there is no love between you and your partner. The kid tests your love, rather than increasing or rekindling it.
It’s a tough job to raise a kid right. It demands your time, undivided attention and sacrifice. Don’t have a kid until you are ready for it. Their emotional needs are much more important than the physical ones.
Sep 22, 2024
Bangalore
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